Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
