..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
