im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
