So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize