it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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