Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
