why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wow bdsm is so cute
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think I just sharted jello shots
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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