did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
