I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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