I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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