I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Mom said you looked used
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
