Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
