That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
