We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
