What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
