There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
