We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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