i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
