Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
another moral hangover. fuck.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
