My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
