Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
