Im at strip club and am horny
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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