I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
