to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
nutella sex= disaster
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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