Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
