She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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