I just cut my nipple shaving
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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