You just made me feel so damn special
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
