No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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