Rock
Scissors
Fuck
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
