come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize