She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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