Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize