Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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