It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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