can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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