I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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