you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need to calm my uterus...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
