I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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