Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
