Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The feeling are messing with the penis
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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