Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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