btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
