break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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