i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
