i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just pee around me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
