turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
