He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
