Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
