R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
