Is it normal to miss your booty call?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
