The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
please don't ironically join a cult
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