I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize