What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
