Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
