Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
