Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
