I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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