drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize