Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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