words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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