omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
